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How Not to Calm a Child on a Plane
Cover of How Not to Calm a Child on a Plane
How Not to Calm a Child on a Plane
And Other Lessons in Parenting from a Highly Questionable Source
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Looking for the perfect book to help you survive childbirth and parenting with your sanity intact?
Look elsewhere.
For Johanna Stein (writer/comedian/forward/slash/abuser and occasionally neurotic/immature/way-too-candid mom), parenting is an extreme sport. Her stories from the trenches may not always be shared experiences—Have you ever wondered if your baby's "soft spot" is like a delete key? Trained your preschooler for a zombie invasion? Accused a nearly nude stranger of being pregnant? Made sweet, bimonthly love to your spouse while your toddler serenaded you through the adjoining wall? Attempted to calm your screaming baby on an airplane with a hand puppet, only to have it lead to one of the most disgusting experiences of your life?—but they will always make you laugh.
So, no, this book won't teach you how to deal with nipple blisters or Oedipal complexes. But if you want to learn why you should never attempt to play a practical joke in the hospital delivery room, then you're in the right place.

Looking for the perfect book to help you survive childbirth and parenting with your sanity intact?
Look elsewhere.
For Johanna Stein (writer/comedian/forward/slash/abuser and occasionally neurotic/immature/way-too-candid mom), parenting is an extreme sport. Her stories from the trenches may not always be shared experiences—Have you ever wondered if your baby's "soft spot" is like a delete key? Trained your preschooler for a zombie invasion? Accused a nearly nude stranger of being pregnant? Made sweet, bimonthly love to your spouse while your toddler serenaded you through the adjoining wall? Attempted to calm your screaming baby on an airplane with a hand puppet, only to have it lead to one of the most disgusting experiences of your life?—but they will always make you laugh.
So, no, this book won't teach you how to deal with nipple blisters or Oedipal complexes. But if you want to learn why you should never attempt to play a practical joke in the hospital delivery room, then you're in the right place.

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About the Author-
  • As a writer, director, and actor, Johanna Stein's work has appeared on Comedy Central, Nickelodeon, PBS, HBO, CBS, the Oxygen Network, VH1, the Disney Channel, and all across the Internets, where her comedy shorts, PSAs, and popular Yahoo! web series "Life of Mom" have been viewed millions of times. In addition to her TV and film work, Johanna's essays have been published in such outlets as the New York Times, Parents Magazine, and the Huffington Post.
    Johanna lives in Southern California with her husband, their daughter, and a tiny boy-faced dog who once ate a couch.
    johannastein.com

Reviews-
  • Library Journal

    May 15, 2014

    Stein works the comedy circuit from such venues as Comedy Central, VH-1, and even the Disney Channel. While the author might proclaim herself as a "questionable source" when it comes to parenting, her credentials in chuckles are undisputed. The offering itself is nothing new (brief, humorous essays on the trials and tribulations of parenting), but Stein has such a delightfully immature sense of humor (."..about my perfect motherhood...I feel so happy I could puke a friggin' rainbow") that the reader feels compelled to continue reading in anticipation of what she might possibly say next. VERDICT From birthing classes ("We persevered...we were about to be parents, it was important that we rise above our juvenile tendencies") to labor itself ("I am going to tear the linoleum off the delivery-room floor and eat it") Stein gives a laugh-out-loud presentation sure to be a hit with the no-punches crowd.

    Copyright 2014 Library Journal, LLC Used with permission.

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    Da Capo Press
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How Not to Calm a Child on a Plane
How Not to Calm a Child on a Plane
And Other Lessons in Parenting from a Highly Questionable Source
Johanna Stein
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